Finding A Focus

Research paper. The very term is bland, ominous, conjuring up images of stacks of books and papers highlighted in random fashion. I am attempting to complete a research paper in one of my special ed classes. Although I am interested in and familiar with the topic, I am having a HARD time approaching it on paper. Three reasons:
1) The last research paper I wrote (20 pages reflecting hundreds of hours of work) solicited such comments from my professor as "you write in useless jargon" and "you are not writing an opinion or persuasive paper - keep your thoughts out of this." Constructive criticism, yes, but my confidence is still a little shaken.
2) I have a huge problem with regurgitating information. If the educational books, journals, and articles I am researching have already stated information, why should I repeat it? Besides, they probably said it better than I can!
3) However do you condense all the research that has ever been conducted on your topic into one simple paper? No matter which subject I approach in life, if I look into it beyond the mere surface I immediately find way more information than I can ever absorb.
I discussed my concerns with Scot. Bless his heart, he ALWAYS listens to, validates, and responds to my thoughts with reasoning that I can understand. We concluded that my purpose is just to compile various forms of research into one brief but comprehensive form. That was at 7:30 this morning. I'm still working on the "brief" part!

I broached to Scot last night my ideas for his birthday. Unfortunately, my favorite idea (a trip to Iceland) isn't within our time or budget right now. Once again, I was thinking "too big." I needed to be reminded that 2011, just like 2010, will be comprised of work and school. What's ironic is that I constantly have hopes beyond work and school, but I when I find a focus I am actually content just to be in the here and now.   

Happy Moment

Last night I experienced a happy moment. I was cooking in the kitchen, every burner going and every light on, sipping red wine while concocting a never-before-invented recipe for our Alaskan-caught halibut. My little sis Amy was serenading me on her accordion, and our puppy Kona was howling (screeching!) right along. Snow was falling softly outside,  but indoors there was a golden cozy warmth. I couldn't help smiling. This was a moment to which I could surrender myself and just enjoy it for what it was.

So I'm wondering... what is your happy moment? What puts you in a "state of bliss" or peace free from thought of anything before and after the "now"?

Perspective

With whatever bug I had seemingly gone from my system, I am back to the normal routine of trying to address all the "must-dos" in my life. This morning I wake up already overwhelemed by those tasks that must be accomplished. I try to enjoy a cup of coffee in quiet, but everywhere I look is a reminder of something that needs to be addressed or a chore still not done. Whew, I think, what a great way to start a full day of homework!

When I enter our loft, where I practically live during the school year, I am planning out my day in my mind. But somehow the sunshine filtering softly through the windows makes it through the filters of my mind. Wow, this is beautiful. I sit down at my desk and say a little prayer for mental clarity before I turn on the computer. As I wait for it to boot up, I glance out the window in front of me. And finally realize there's a scene to be witnessed out there. A scene of winter wonder, evergreens once again brushed with snow and a silvery sunrise shining through. I breathe in deeply. Thank you, God. Thank you for restoring perspective.

Back Amongst the Living

Wow, it's SO NICE to finally be able to say that I'm healthy again! I turned a corner Friday night, and woke up Saturday ready to tackle the world. What began as a reintroduction to walking outside turned into a 4-hour hike following elk tracks all over and up to the top of the mountain behind our home. In my excitement of exploring snowy trails leading ever-upwards, I forgot that I was still weak, forgot that I was wearing jeans and a jacket (not appropriate clothing above snowline!), forgot that I had only planned to walk half a mile in the sunshine. Love for challenge overcame customary thought of time, responsibility, and discomfort. What a gift it is to see the mountains and the elk herds, to feel the warmth of winter sunshine and glittering snow! 

Yesterday (Sunday) I went hiking again, this time with family in eastern Washington. I was so impressed by my six-year old nephew, who led us at a run up the icy mountain trail to a glorious view of surroundings forests and valleys. We are so blessed to live in such a beautiful area of the world.  

Friday Night

Friday night is commonly viewed in our culture as the "let-down" night, the time to put behind you a long work week and launch into the weekend with relaxing or partying. Yet here I am, working on school assignments that I was too sick to complete earlier in the week. And I realized that if you've already been sitting around relaxing, watching movies and eating comfort foods, then Friday night doesn't hold nearly the same feel-good anticipation.

I FINALLY felt better today, at least enough to get some work done on the computer and take Kona for a walk. It's strange how even the most mundane tasks make you feel accomplished when you've been too sick to get to them!