Connections

How interesting that several of us in this writing group have been sick and recovering within weeks of each other. Like Allison and KTO, I too finally feel as if I am recovered from a horribly long and exhuasting sickness. I have all this new-found energy, and yet somewhere within those two weeks of being sick I lost the momentum I had in school and can't get it back. Poo. Do any of the rest of you find yourselves writing in this blog just to get your mind going before tackling other school assignments? To be honest, I didn't think this blog would help me much as a writer, but I am beginning to see more connections within my own writing process. And though I still don't know how I'm going to "teach" writing, I am more capable of identifying with the various stages and challenges of writing.

COLD

Brrr, hello COLD! It's so beautifully blue and crisp outside now, with sunshine that makes every color pop. But frigid. And Scot wants to sleep outside tonight! I told him I'd join him, but just because I know I can always come back inside if/when I freeze into an ice cube. If nothing else, dealing with the cold will get me in the mode for our planned snow caving outing next weekend.

Hey, guess what, I got the research paper done. It "only" took 10 hours! My brain was fried last night, but I still elected to study for my next Praxis test and read a compilation of first-person narratives by "GBLT"s. Homosexuality is an issue that I just don't know how to deal with. I know it's probably not politically correct to even talk about it here, but it's on my mind. I usually push this issue out of my mind, since I can never come to an easy resolve. But I'm not naive - I know I will have to address it in the classroom. Respect is really, really important to me, so I want to establish respect in the classroom and be able to discuss any issue with respect. How best to be prepared? 

Finding A Focus

Research paper. The very term is bland, ominous, conjuring up images of stacks of books and papers highlighted in random fashion. I am attempting to complete a research paper in one of my special ed classes. Although I am interested in and familiar with the topic, I am having a HARD time approaching it on paper. Three reasons:
1) The last research paper I wrote (20 pages reflecting hundreds of hours of work) solicited such comments from my professor as "you write in useless jargon" and "you are not writing an opinion or persuasive paper - keep your thoughts out of this." Constructive criticism, yes, but my confidence is still a little shaken.
2) I have a huge problem with regurgitating information. If the educational books, journals, and articles I am researching have already stated information, why should I repeat it? Besides, they probably said it better than I can!
3) However do you condense all the research that has ever been conducted on your topic into one simple paper? No matter which subject I approach in life, if I look into it beyond the mere surface I immediately find way more information than I can ever absorb.
I discussed my concerns with Scot. Bless his heart, he ALWAYS listens to, validates, and responds to my thoughts with reasoning that I can understand. We concluded that my purpose is just to compile various forms of research into one brief but comprehensive form. That was at 7:30 this morning. I'm still working on the "brief" part!

I broached to Scot last night my ideas for his birthday. Unfortunately, my favorite idea (a trip to Iceland) isn't within our time or budget right now. Once again, I was thinking "too big." I needed to be reminded that 2011, just like 2010, will be comprised of work and school. What's ironic is that I constantly have hopes beyond work and school, but I when I find a focus I am actually content just to be in the here and now.   

Happy Moment

Last night I experienced a happy moment. I was cooking in the kitchen, every burner going and every light on, sipping red wine while concocting a never-before-invented recipe for our Alaskan-caught halibut. My little sis Amy was serenading me on her accordion, and our puppy Kona was howling (screeching!) right along. Snow was falling softly outside,  but indoors there was a golden cozy warmth. I couldn't help smiling. This was a moment to which I could surrender myself and just enjoy it for what it was.

So I'm wondering... what is your happy moment? What puts you in a "state of bliss" or peace free from thought of anything before and after the "now"?

Perspective

With whatever bug I had seemingly gone from my system, I am back to the normal routine of trying to address all the "must-dos" in my life. This morning I wake up already overwhelemed by those tasks that must be accomplished. I try to enjoy a cup of coffee in quiet, but everywhere I look is a reminder of something that needs to be addressed or a chore still not done. Whew, I think, what a great way to start a full day of homework!

When I enter our loft, where I practically live during the school year, I am planning out my day in my mind. But somehow the sunshine filtering softly through the windows makes it through the filters of my mind. Wow, this is beautiful. I sit down at my desk and say a little prayer for mental clarity before I turn on the computer. As I wait for it to boot up, I glance out the window in front of me. And finally realize there's a scene to be witnessed out there. A scene of winter wonder, evergreens once again brushed with snow and a silvery sunrise shining through. I breathe in deeply. Thank you, God. Thank you for restoring perspective.